I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
