You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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