So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
