The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
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Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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