forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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