At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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