did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
