EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.