your parents love me but you hate me
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.