i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.