Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
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I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
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just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.