guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I feel great
I just peed on a car
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Couch. On fire.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
