it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You were trust falling into bushes
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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