Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
