For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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