the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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