she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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