She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
