508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
