i would punch a child for taco bell
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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