I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
