That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
