I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
