You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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