i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
be right there i have to get my cape
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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