Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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