You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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