He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
