I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
