I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize