OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
