Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
