so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
