i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
