I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
