Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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