dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
