fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
