When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize