Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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