I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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