I accidentally burped into my bong.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
