DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
