People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He has the fingertips of a God
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
