His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
