9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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