we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Rumble strips road head = magical
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
