so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
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It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
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