Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
