I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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