i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.