All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
