As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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