I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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