Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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