i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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