My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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