no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
