READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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