who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
