Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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