She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
