All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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