so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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