I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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